Jing's Fatal Flaw: Lack of Detail

I've been in a bad mood lately about myself. I haven't really been happy lately and in particular, I haven't been happy about myself and my personality. I've realized that I am a man who knows all, but nothing of value. Essentially, I know very little in everything but not alot in anything in particular. A great example is that I love watching discovery channel. I simply love learning about new and interesting things! However, rarely do I ever delve deeper into any subject either because I lose interest or I convince to myself that it is silly and useless.

To sum it all up, I think the problem is that I have a lack of detail. Jing's Fatal Flaw: A lack of detail. For example, I enjoy music: Jazz, Rap, Hip-Hop, House, Trance. But there is no particular artist that I enjoy or that I am knowledgeable about. If someone loves jazz, there is simply no excuse to not understanding the history, the genres, the famous artists, or even the instruments! I love trance, but I don't know anything about any particular artists nor do I have a complete collection of songs from one. This applies to everything. It becomes almost forceful for me to take the extra effort beyond what I deem is necessary.

I've brought this up to Chris and Helena one time. They made a really good point. It is absolutely important that you continue to strive on and learn as much as you can. It is already amazing that one is well-rounded in many things. I believe the next step is simply to concentrate on a few catagories of very high and to become an expert at it. Chris mentioned to me that having a hobby or an interest takes alot of hard work. It is like a learning curve. You enjoy it for a little while and before long, you will get bored. It will take alot of enery and continuous effort until you will reach a higher level of enjoyment and interest, just like a learning curve. When you reach a plateau, alot of effort is needed to grow that interest in order to reach the next desired plateau. But the effort is definately worthwhile, as your knowledge, interest, and passion increase with each level.

Therefore this is what I propose: Although I will continue to learn and explore things of interest, I will dive deeper into specific things that I deem important to know more about and that I personally believe will become things of passion for me. In a few days, I will compile a list of these things.

I feel better now and less depressed. This blog was a great idea...... I think I will finally get to know myself better and solidify what is already me.